28.1.09

on the cusp

There is a period of time spent before one begins to write that feels interminable. I currently reside in just such a state of inaction. It is at once painful and jubilant for reasons I do not fully understand. Perhaps it is pain that I feel when a slap of reality allows me to see that my wishes to write are a wasted endeavour. Perhaps jubilation ensues when I have a flash forward to the time when I have finally resolved to begin the physical process, the act of writing, pen in hand, keyboard at hand. Why is the latter so difficult to achieve? I liken it to the attempt at running in a dream: trying, hard as I might, to furiously reach a destination but making no progress in closing the gap...always just there within my grasp but unattainable.

I write this, now, but it doesn't count. This is mere filler that preoccupies me while I struggle with how I can possibly manage to overcome my inertia.

18.1.09

brief introduction

This is the online equivalent of a blank notebook and pen. A word of caution: my notebooks, and they are numerous, remain largely the same as when they came into my possession, which is to say, blank. I am hoping that I do somewhat better with a keyboard and a blog editor. Nothing of import in this, the first post, mainly because I'm staring down the usual Monday morning obligations, and I really have no business sitting here, doing this. The weekend has drawn to a close.